User:Garda

From Hak5

[edit] A Short Biography

Garda, commissioned by the Hacklings Against Karren (HAK) is on a mission to stop all carrots from infiltrating the HAK5 subculture in order to save the year 2059 from a nuclear holocaust caused by an attempt by WessII (Wess Tobler's replacement after a mashed potato murdered his girl friend causing Wess to seek vengeance ultimately dying at the hands of a 14-year-old Asian girl in an Optimus Prime costume) to mod a Toaster to be powered by a hydro-fusion reactor.
TO this day Garda has been ever vigilant in his duties and remains prepared to fight the carrots should they ever arise to cause this accident again.

Originally from the year 2096, Garda has pent his whole life being trained by various militant groups to be an elite magenta killing machine but defected in the year 3031 when magenta made a play for coolest color (Periwinkle at the time). Becoming a general for the Time Travel Division of HAK he has proven himself to be continuously covered in a patriotic goo that gives off "good vibes".

It may be noted that in his time on the HAK5 IRC channel he has repeatedly brought up many good moral debates for the group to ponder, such as: Why do we put our socks on our bread before throwing our goldfish?, Do monkeys ever spend time trying to write Shakespeare?, & Is there a chance that this purple thing in my underwear is malignant? Making the members in the channel just a little smarter for their time.

Garda may also be know as FabulousPeppermintOtter

[12:56:22] * Hak5Darren|Editing dubs Garda "FabulousPeppermintOtter"

[edit] OpenPGP information

PGP keyID: 0x482AA43B
Key Fingerprint: 1693 2106 26BC C77A 035D C67C 9413 7BFE 482A A43B